well...hello guys(i dunno when will i get the takers on the other end.....but its just the way how the words actually come fumbling out of my mouth when there really is an issue to be discussed by me)....see here i am doing nothing but blogging the thoughts that have stormed within my cranium which has actually pushed me into this direct lashing of my fingers against my keyboard and to type. how am i suppose to tell the sudden outburst of my so frequently visiting guests these days....yes...guests since i don't know if they are good but they are just occupying the space for a while and then moves away so guests.
i am all awake since 3 in the morning. and what i did?..well had to finish an assignment but the first thing first...i logged in to my orkut account checked something, read something and there! bang it!....what i read....it pushed me(i hold it guilty....as usually there need to be someone whom u can load your rantings on..no?)into my those sudden pangs of meditation, deep mulling sessions.all the time ilei was doing my articulate and meticulous engineering assignment , i was thinking nothing but puking all my thoughts onto the paper....it was a speeding of words inside my little cranium and my grey matter...well it was bubbling and why won't it....it was being fettered by nothing but a simple little...fucking(yeah...i know m going filthy)..shit of an assignment.
on the breakfast table i was saying my mom.."look i need to do something...someway...these thoughts are burning me.."..she asked me to relax n to be chill...yeah chill...well it is chill at 6:30 in the morning when u drive your activa....all shuddering and hearing the 'kit kit' of your teeth....and then parking it and strolling down to the exact location of the college bus stop...n sneaking out those really hot moments of sharing a space in front of those perishing newspaper articles into ashes....n see the words invigorating u even in their last moments...glorified death indeed!..but then suddenly u hear your bus honking right onto and just like a half obedient child looking disturbed and a bit infuriated on this disturbance and intrusion in your most revered times, you walk and figure out your seat and sit...u open a book of your taste "agony and ecstasy"...and just for one last second before diving into it look at the sun behind your closed window the one which u closed to save u from cold...and a child still without an under pant and running nose...and disheveled hair...and a dirty polly in his hands staring back at you and you as usual stoop down n read.....but these emotions, these thoughts, the ones which overpowered you right from the start of your day won't let you go so easily...you close the book and decides to observe the life...the living sketch of the almighty...."hmm so a little boy in red sweater waiting for his bus/a dog lying all dead in the middle of the road..no takers..."...n ohh this time the attack is severe...the white stretch of your lips...gone...and the lively animated eyes of yours are nothing but cold now...nothing but a lost dreary look visits it and settles there....and all of a sudden the life around you loses the meaning and on the second turn...you are standing juxtaposing the stagnation, the stillness, the tranquility , the human existence...you see the writings on the walls..."hindustani yunani store","papita,mosmi juice yahan milte hai"...the restlessness within u is asking for the significance, something it is not understanding out of the obvious....the obvious which is still oblivion to u..the simple things of life are under revolt within you..the questions are been asked the answers are being awaited....the state, yes the state with which i usually fight with, where i frantically long to run in an open field n to be one with and in this state my CW(co wanderer) doesn't share a seat beside me observing me but struggling horrendously with me in me , longing for the simplicity and hating the complexity(may be the reason why i hate the big mathematics equations n the very subject)..but you see there ain't any catharsis for me...i m back home but god damn it i haven't done my assignments as yet and now will sleep since am all whacked out...and will wake up again at 3 may be....(I'll have to, there is no escape...bloody sleepless college life.....lolzz...i m a forced insomniac...says my CW)
P.S. CW is my nameless, figureless buddy...i don't know what you call it but it's the one which never betrays me when it comes to listening me!!
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