the year 2008 will soon wrap it's bag and will bid goodbye to us all. on the last day of this year when i look back, i seriously feel like as if things were too fast for me to even realise that i have matured one more year.
this was the year which i would surely say i will remember all through my life. it had made me something what i really cannot put into words right now. things were too fast and i too was going fastly. this was the year in which i dreamt a lot, a hell lot. and even saw my most revered dreams slipping away the canvas of reality. i learnt to grow and to get up again and to walk. hmm to mull more i had my first serious crush this year and for whom finally, i realised that it was nothing more than an imbecile act to get attached with, but as i said i learnt, so i love that part too of this year. i saw how much people around me cared for me and this actually made me indebted to them forever. few people whom i never expected to be there on my guard to support me during my blue . i truly want to mention them, though knowing the fact that they might not ever see their names flashing here but they truly deserve a mention(i dunno why m writing this, for there are not many to read. but all i know is that somewhere i wanna mention it), so here i go.
manish bhaiya, well he is my inspiration, my mentor and everything. he had been the one who made an incessantly crying fool quiet and filled her with hopes to walk, who beside making her walk also told her that to fumble is not the sign of a weak but of a long race runner.
ravindra bhaiya, he doesn't know it, but in just one call he made me realised that the ultimate goal of life is to be happy no matter what happens. and yeah, no matter what, i will be happy and i will always be and will try to make others also happy.
manorathan, he is my net friend, but he is more than my any real friend. he was the one to whom i knew after spilling the things out of my head i will be relieved and so was i and i think he knew when exactly, so not mentioning the exact thing.
my real brother, he is like my ultimate support. my crying shoulder, a wall to lean and to forget that there every were worries of any kind.
amrita ma'am, my school teacher who had always supported me and has showed her belief in me. a part of me will always be bowed in respect for her.
well it's just a little list that i am putting up here, but in life you meet many people, who all are a part of your influence, be it big or small, you learn from them all. and so there are also many other people whom i met in the year 2008 and learnt a lot. so let me began again, aneesha and namrata, my two friends to whom i never thought i would learn. aneesha is a girl of grit and invisible courage. she know how to take and live through the time of ignominy. she is strength in herself. on the other hand namrata is a fun filled girl who showed me the beauty and happiness in little things, and girls i so very much love you. thanks for being with me.
preeti, a small girl, aged 7 who gathers litters from the street. see her smile and talk her and you will have your day. there are so many that i wish i could empty my heart for and all i wish is that they remain happy all through their lives and achieve what they want.
this year taught me a great deal and i pray that i carry it further with me.
some tumbles, some frowns
yet you made me smile
yet you made me stand tall
under the azure and the sun
some breaks, some fouls
yet you made me score
in the goal of life
in the goal of experience
some doubts, some dark howls
yet you made me treasure the
beauty of reading a book under the grace of yellow threads
the beauty of the pearl rolling down, after toil
some laughs, some splashes
you taught me to pave when the going gets tuff
some gifts, some smiles
you taught me to instill wherever the chance laid bare
oh! dear you finally matured me
you let the woman walk out of the womb
oh! year you so steadily touched my heart
that my imbecility turned sagacious under you
i so very much loved you
oh! you the pallet of experience and joy
thank you!!
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
They say that they fight for peace. They say ‘peace’ and yet they fight, I thought as an onlooker passing a slight comment, after feeling an overflowing feeling of disgust trickling down my cup.
‘I am fighting down my way to fetch some sort of simplicity out of this so tangled complex world. I am fighting down my way to grab some peace for me. I am trying to get myself out of this so screechy world and above all I’m fighting to search some answers within me, right inside me to the questions irking me from long time. Yeah! I am fighting. I am fighting for peace.
Though my physical appearance is not marred and charred, my soul at some places is. Though I don’t sit in those deathly ghettos, yet my soul walks in dark lanes. Though the dawn doesn’t reveal the loss on my face, yet its glitter exposes the discomfort in me.
One day I felt like breaking the walls, letting the captive breathe the fresh air, letting it feel the change from cold, wet, darkly dungeons , to a bright winter sun. one day I felt like speaking my heart out, I felt like cursing, I felt like venting all my feelings in a violent act against all I held guilty, just to ease myself, to grab a moment of peace, if not a life.”
And then I heard someone saying, “You say ‘peace’ and yet you ‘fight’.”
‘I am fighting down my way to fetch some sort of simplicity out of this so tangled complex world. I am fighting down my way to grab some peace for me. I am trying to get myself out of this so screechy world and above all I’m fighting to search some answers within me, right inside me to the questions irking me from long time. Yeah! I am fighting. I am fighting for peace.
Though my physical appearance is not marred and charred, my soul at some places is. Though I don’t sit in those deathly ghettos, yet my soul walks in dark lanes. Though the dawn doesn’t reveal the loss on my face, yet its glitter exposes the discomfort in me.
One day I felt like breaking the walls, letting the captive breathe the fresh air, letting it feel the change from cold, wet, darkly dungeons , to a bright winter sun. one day I felt like speaking my heart out, I felt like cursing, I felt like venting all my feelings in a violent act against all I held guilty, just to ease myself, to grab a moment of peace, if not a life.”
And then I heard someone saying, “You say ‘peace’ and yet you ‘fight’.”
“Knowing you was no good, leaving you was no better.”
“Then what seemed apt to you?”, said it
“To never know you.”
“Why?” asked it.
‘to smell the pervasive aroma of a flower, blooming in an oblivion corner, and to wander with hopeful eyes to hold it someday or to smell a flower in hands only to know that it belonged to someone else’s garden. You say which is better of the two?” said I and turned a back to its howling.
“Then what seemed apt to you?”, said it
“To never know you.”
“Why?” asked it.
‘to smell the pervasive aroma of a flower, blooming in an oblivion corner, and to wander with hopeful eyes to hold it someday or to smell a flower in hands only to know that it belonged to someone else’s garden. You say which is better of the two?” said I and turned a back to its howling.
Sooner even the last memory will fade away. Sooner I know, ‘I’ and ‘you’ will be a part of the tangled mob for ‘you’ and ‘me’. Sooner, I know pain will recede down. Sooner, I know wind will stop whispering your name. Sooner, I know a path will be abandoned. Sooner I know, my gaze will withdraw and sooner the foot prints will fade. Sooner, I know the road once frequented will be covered with autumn leaves. And yes sooner, with this I will turn a back leaving behind a chimera, a dream for which closed eyes bleed once. But sooner, I know the last memory with its youth and charm will fade away. And sooner a restless cot will give way to an eternal bliss of sleep.
Monday, December 8, 2008
A little fact sometimes excites you out, that sometimes at the other end, the far end things are better, better than at your end. Something which is far but is an eye candy, a catharsis for you to see, and you dream to one day reach it, to grab it in your very hands, to just be able to feel it with it’s minutest details and grandeur, to be able to be one with it. This very idea leaves you dancing and jumping all the way through. Dreaming is itself an art, an art to which some people surrender beyond explanations and are often called as ‘mad’, ‘crazy’, lunatic’. It is this very fact which makes dreaming an art. An art to be studied and dwelt with precision, to be aware of it’s dose which is taken in. if in right amount, you are there as a winner and if an overdose reigns your nerves, here you are on a road side as a pauper with a paucity of pennies in the pocket. It is an art which teaches you about the perfect combination of living in present yet believing in the future, looking forward in such a way that you still manage to sneak in the details of your shoe right below your nose, or to look at your shoes and managing to see the bull standing at the road end.
I don’t know how to dream perfectly, am not a good student of this art. Although I am a great admirer of it, a student beyond explanations, a student who doesn’t know the limit up to which the reference books are used with the prescribed books. A student which is seen dwelling in the books even when the school gets over and this is horrendous for this very art for this art asks precision, even if you practice it very often. It punishes equally to the one who takes it in a lacking amount and to the one who takes it in overdose. So albeit, I am an ardent practitioner of it, I fail in it’s test. But since my failure arises due to an overdose, due to the swelling up of my nerves, with a blood group having an extra set of platelets beyond RBC and WBC, DMC, a hope pervades my very soul, which makes me dream, to one day achieve a passing certificate in this art. Or in other terms to achieve the required precision in it’s dose.
I don’t know how to dream perfectly, am not a good student of this art. Although I am a great admirer of it, a student beyond explanations, a student who doesn’t know the limit up to which the reference books are used with the prescribed books. A student which is seen dwelling in the books even when the school gets over and this is horrendous for this very art for this art asks precision, even if you practice it very often. It punishes equally to the one who takes it in a lacking amount and to the one who takes it in overdose. So albeit, I am an ardent practitioner of it, I fail in it’s test. But since my failure arises due to an overdose, due to the swelling up of my nerves, with a blood group having an extra set of platelets beyond RBC and WBC, DMC, a hope pervades my very soul, which makes me dream, to one day achieve a passing certificate in this art. Or in other terms to achieve the required precision in it’s dose.
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